my grandma's falling apart.

and i dont know what to do. all i can do is listen and watch her slowly walk to the restroom like 70 times per day cuz' she keeps forgetting she went. just now i kissed her forehead in the bathroom as she was washing her hands and i went to the room- she asked me "wheres the restroom at?".not cool. the worst is watching her cry and listening to her say that something is going wrong in her head. she realizes her brain is breaking down. that makes me really sad and it enrages me at the same time. i cant do a damn thing. last night i got up with her to the restroom like i always do since i sleep with her, and she almost fell- she scared the shit out of me- good thing i'm really buff and have arms of steel, i caught her! ON A LIGHTER NOTE (i didnt intend this blog to be such a downer) According to my grandma, one of my uncles- her youngest son; keeps getting killed by a cow. She hears things too, and its funny because she always hears someone say "oy, que a fernando lo mato una vaca" its the funniest shit ever. and sad at the same time.

I just can't imagine being older than 25....

i dont want to.

here are some quotes from the Movie Awakenings 1990


Dr Malcolm Sayer: What we do know is that, as the chemical window closed, another awakening took place; that the human spirit is more powerful than any drug - and THAT is what needs to be nourished: with work, play, friendship, family. THESE are the things that matter. This is what we'd forgotten - the simplest things.

---

---

Nurse Beth: Dr. Sayer
Dr. Sayer: What is it?
Nurse Beth: It's a fucking miracle

---

---

Dr. Sayer: His gaze is from the passing of bars so exhausted, that it doesn't hold a thing anymore. For him, it's as if there were thousands of bars and behind the thousands of bars no world. The sure stride of lithe, powerful steps, that around the smallest of circles turns, is like a dance of pure energy about a center, in which a great will stands numbed. Only occasionally, without a sound, do the covers of the eyes slide open-. An image rushes in, goes through the tensed silence of the frame- only to vanish, forever, in the heart.

---

Anthony: [cheerfully] How's it going?
Frank: How's it going?
Anthony: Yeah, how do you feel?
Frank: Well, my parents are dead. My wife is in an institution. My son has disappeared out west somewhere.
[pause]
Frank: I feel old and I feel swindled, that's how I feel.

movie info

i'm really nervous

i hate being human. i dont understand it. i dont understand them. strange. i wish i ......................just watch. "Prototype"

im into quotes

so i really like this one.....by david mack

"Don’t sacrifice your dreams for the illusion of security. There is no security. Realize there is no security and become comfortable with that. It will free you up to do what you really need to do."
-- Kabuki: The Alchemy #4

David Mack

2

this is some really cool art shhhhhhh

about photo sculpture and instrument art

http://www.zimmershowandtell.org/

and this other site which i have no idea how i came across it, but its interesting.

colors magazine

"Better Come Back Down To Mars"

Check out this song by Outkast- "Roses"

I love it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lk1awSIang

About dolls...

Check out this article and check out Iran's Dolls: Iran

Iran takes new shot at Barbie, calling US doll 'destructive'

By ALI AKBAR DAREINI, Associated Press Writer Mon Apr 28, 4:09 PM ET

TEHRAN, Iran - A top Iranian judiciary official warned Monday against the "destructive" cultural and social consequences of importing Barbie dolls and other Western toys.

In the latest salvo in a more than decade-old government campaign against Barbie, Prosecutor General Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi said in an official letter to Vice President Parviz Davoudi that the doll and other Western toys are a "danger" that need to be stopped.

"The irregular importation of such toys, which unfortunately arrive through unofficial sources and smuggling, is destructive culturally and a social danger," said the letter, a copy of which was made available to The Associated Press.

Iranian markets have been inundated with smuggled Western toys in recent years partly due to a dramatic rise in purchasing power as a result of increased oil revenues.

While importing the toys is not necessarily illegal, it is discouraged by a government that seeks to protect Iranians from what it calls the negative effects of Western culture.

Najafabadi said the increasing visibility of Western dolls has alarmed authorities and they are considering intervening.

"The displays of personalities such as Barbie, Batman, Spiderman and Harry Potter ... as well as the irregular importation of unsanctioned computer games and movies are all warning bells to the officials in the cultural arena," his letter said.

Najafabadi said Iran is the world's third biggest importer of toys and warned that smuggled imports pose a threat to the "identity" of the new generation.

"Undoubtedly, the personality and identity of the new generation and our children, as a result of unrestricted importation of toys, has been put at risk and caused irreparable damages," he said.

Mattel Inc., the maker of Barbie, had no immediate comment on the Iranian letter.

Barbie is sold wearing swimsuits and miniskirts in a society where women must wear head scarves in public and men and women are not allowed to swim together.

In 1996, the head of a government-backed children's agency called Barbie a "Trojan horse" sneaking in Western influences such as makeup and revealing clothes.

Authorities launched a campaign of confiscating Barbies from toy shops in 2002, denouncing the un-Islamic sensibilities of the iconic American doll. But the campaign was eventually dropped.

Also in 2002, Iran introduced its own competing dolls — the twins Dara and Sara — who were designed to promote traditional values with their modest clothing and pro-family stories. But the dolls proved unable to stem the Barbie tide.